In her book The Sacred Prostitute: Eternal Aspect of the Feminine, Nancy Qualls-Corbett has touched on the reason that cuckolding as a lifestyle so appealed to me when I first learned of it from Michael. Far from seeing cuckolding as a modified form of swinging, I perceived the lifestyle as an exaltation of the feminine and the divine powers of female sexuality which has been debased and manipulated in our patriarchal society.
Some suggest that cuckolding is one-sided and unfair to the male who remains monogamous but this reflects a fundamental misunderstanding of its essence. It is the female that is the center of the universe and, as an activity, cuckolding admits and relishes this fact. The cuckold takes pleasure in the fact that other men can offer tribute to his woman and if humiliation is an element of this, I would say that it is a gift from that part of our patriarchal society that is still an active ingredient in a couple's mindset.
Let me know what you think.
http://www.amazon.com/The-Sacred-Prostitute-Feminine-Psychology/dp/0919123317
Dear Caroline,
ReplyDeleteI agree that the pleasure of cuckolding has something to do with the beauty of female sexuality. Being myself blessed with this particular affliction, I can say that the greatest source of pleasure (a pleasure that goes way beyond the levels of 'normal' sexuality) is the sheer beauty of female sexuality. When I imagine my wife with other men, I see her as a radiant being, as if her sexuality surrounded her like a halo, making her a being of light, almost transcendent and full of invincible power. This is what makes it, at least for me, so much more intense that vanilla sex: this 'presence' of sex-as-power, and the pleasure of being in the same room with it. How natural does the desire to kneel down feel in this context!...
But I disagree with your explanation. I don't think the female is the center of the universe -- rather, I think religion (like emotion in general) comes from our hormones and chemical balance, also ultimately the source for cuckold feelings. As far as I can tell, the feminine and the masculine are every bit as central (or else, all those submissive women who 'surrender to the masculine' would have to be foolishly misguided).
Rather, sex is linked to such powerful emotions that, when its mechanism finds itself linked in a certain way (when it, as it were, includes subcircuits with extremely high voltage), then the resulting emotions are so intense and overwhelming that the only words we have to describe them are religious in nature: ecstasy, transcendence, God(dess), revelation, worship... They feel true because, ultimately, these words arose to describe the kinds of feelings we have in occasions such as those (emotional/chemical/synaptic 'overload').
Which is not to say that they can't develop into more complex things. They can (that's where 'love,' in its romantic incarnation, comes from, I think). Cuckold feelings can also develop into more than just a physical reaction (from a certain specific 'wiring'): they can become meaningful in many ways, on many levels (which is what it seems happens with you and Michael).
All the best,