I hope you don’t mind a little follow up correspondence.
I did get another copy of “Cuckolding”, which I actually read a couple of years ago. I have also been enjoying reading through the first few pages of “Cuckolding: Questions and Answers”.
In the introduction, you talk about being aware of the word “cuckold” as an insult before you were aware of it as a “lifestyle”. When I was in my twenties, the only sources of information I had were Penthouse magazine and “Joy of Sex”. So, I became aware of the attraction situationally and had no idea what to call it. I was an English major (by convenience) for a couple of years and I am sure the OED would reference “adultery” and “derision” in its definition of the word “cuckold”. If I allow, condone, encourage my wife to have sex with another man, take pleasure from watching or joining in, how can it be adultery?
The derision part is pretty hard to take too. I understand that is part of the attraction for some people, just not for me. So, though I certainly acknowledge being aroused both the fantasy and reality of watching my wife with another man, I have some trouble “self identifying” as a “Cuckold”. This is nothing I mean to argue about. I realize that you are naming a lifestyle or sexual activity that encompasses a vast range of activity, and I am on the rather “vanilla” end of the spectrum. It’s just an observation.
But, it does go to what I observed earlier about your different perspectives. On the Cuckolding Lifestyle blog, you posted a video of an Australian (perhaps) couple with a black man. I have both watched and participated and I understand that husband’s arousal. While I have never experienced it, I do find some interracial videos arousing, including that one. But, the “BBC” does seem to be some kind of very obsessive sub-fetish, with some expressions almost being “anti-white male”, though I realize this is more of an expression of the desire for extreme humiliation in some people. I am cool with interracial sex. But, my wife has never expressed the slightest interest. Can you give me a woman’s perspective on the attraction, or is it an obsession?
Your anonymous reader"
Interracial sex can be an attraction, obsession or both. In my case, it's a fascination. I love the taboo, the color contrast and the size issue. In having sex with black men, I am getting something Michael is not and cannot ever be. There is something about that which we both find compelling. That is not to say that I go exclusively with black men but I admit it is a preference.