The following is a guest post from a reader who wishes to remain anonymous. After a couple of email exchanges with him, I invited him to put his articulate and incisive thoughts in writing so that I could share them on the blog. As I am currently writing another book about the games, both fantasy and reality based, that define the cuckolding lifestyle, I thought his post was topical. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.
"I would be curious to know what percentage of your readers played with matches on railroad trestles as children. Because if “cuckolding” isn't playing with matches on the railroad tracks of evolution, I don’t know what is. And, even if one did not find it incredibly arousing, how could one not find it incredibly fascinating? The range of variation is astounding.
When it comes to proclivities like this, I think we come into the world with our potentialities in place. My awakening occurred, “pre-Internet”, in college and over the first few years of marriage. It was all just a little confusing. It took a while to figure out why even the thought of watching my wife with another man was such a turn on, and to reconcile the attraction within myself.
My guess is that the “Sperm Wars” theorists are on to something. Very primal mechanisms, developed over millions of years of human evolution are triggering very complex, highly nuanced and varied responses in our modern brains and psyches. Some of us, men and women, have tuned in and to varying degrees, in various ways, learned to manipulate our response. There may be competition in the world, especially among males; but the real competition is in the vagina. At its very basic core, it’s really all about fertilization. Contraception has relieved us of most of the real worry, and been a tremendous boon to women. But, the underlying energy is still there. The thought of another man with one’s wife is enough to flood the body and brain with intoxicating chemicals which change heart rate and respiration. How powerful is that? Actually watching one’s wife enjoy herself with another man is like doubling the dose.
No doubt the life style has changed over the years, but it has been around in some form forever. The internet has certainly changed things. But, I do think there has always been an underlying aspect of “Goddess worship” involved in the practice from the start. Certainly any man who truly loves women will know that the average woman’s capacity for pleasure exceeds his physical ability. A realistic man also realizes his woman was looking at attractive men when she picked him. Her sexuality did not become static when she met him. Refractory periods are a fact of life. We learn to postpone orgasm, derive great arousal and satisfaction from giving our partner pleasure; we revel in her ability to receive sexual pleasure. I might well trade the ability to urinate while standing for the ability to have a dozen orgasms over the course of an evening. It’s really awe inspiring when you think about it. So, we learn to take pleasure from her pleasure. It can really become “all about her”. A very deep connection develops between the marriage partners. We love our wife’s sexuality as part of her.
It’s not exactly a thing a man might discuss with his friends; but, apparently the idea turns a lot of us on. As a bedroom fantasy, it can produce some very hot marital sex, and that may be all you ever need. If you decide to step out into the real world, be careful and have fun."