Wednesday, November 28, 2012

When cuckolding was "mainstream"

I have mentioned that notable matriarchal societies revered female liberties some of which now manifest in the cuckolding lifestyle and I find this interesting and compelling. It is as though this undercurrent of "rightness" is trying to revive itself into what has become a degraded modern patriarchy.

The following is an excerpt from a blog about the Indian culture in the Sonoma area of California. See if what it describes doesn't seem familiar:

"On the third night of the Bear Dance Ritual, the women proceeded by torchlight from The Sacred Springs, and presented themselves to the Chief of Chiefs who was now one with the spirit of the Great Bear. They brought with them as an offering The Gift.

The Gift was what the Indians called sex, and it belonged to a woman, just like we own a car, or a sweater. The Gift was theirs to give to whomever, whenever, and wherever they chose. The punishment for trying to take The Gift, without the woman offering you the gift first, was irrevocable and immediate: Death.

The women were so generous with The Gift that rape was obsolete.

To fall in love as we do in our culture today, to obsess over one particular female, to want to keep her from sharing The Gift with anyone other than you, was an aberration abhorrent to all healthy sane Indian men and women.

At the first sign of such a mental disorder, a Shaman was called in to perform exorcisms, healing rituals, and to cure the deviant.

In Sonoma, the Indians received their souls, their names, and their assigned life-partners at the age of four. Marriage had nothing to do with sex.

Of course, if you work for the State, even as a volunteer, you are not allowed to say any of these things.

The winners rewrite history.

Indians in Sonoma never associated pregnancy with The Gift. Sex had nothing to do with marriage, because you were married at the age of four. An Indian woman could give The Gift to whomever she chose, according to how the Spirit of The Turquoise Maiden moved her. If she were so inclined, she could even give The Gift to her husband.

The one thing that most upset the Catholic Padres...was the way women gave the Gift so generously, and to so many men. They gave it to their brothers, their sons, their uncles, their cousins, and even to strangers.

Baby-making was considered a magical power, something women did all by themselves with the great Creator Spirit. So pervasive was this belief that there was no word for Father in the Indian language; only Uncle.

No wonder the Sonoma Indian men worshiped the Sonoma Indian women."

I have left out much of what was written by the author, leaving in what is pertinent to our interest. To read this very well written post in its entirety, do a Google search for: The Sonoma Mission and the Bear Sacrifice Site. Her book, Sonoma Ghosts by Carla Heine, is available here: Ghosts


  1. This got my attention in a big way. Women really do have the gift and thank you for legitimizing this "lifestyle" as truly having the potential for being mainstream!

    I'm going to order your book now.

    Cynthia Dunning

  2. PS

    —but seems to me it requires a social organization in which everyone commits to raising all the children collectively.

  3. PPS: Well. that is one aspect of a matriarchal society, isn't it?

  4. You will be interested to know that I shared this with my husband and it provoked some very intersting conversations between the two of us. I also sent the link to this post to a few of my girlfriends!

    Karen in San Francisco

  5. Reading the article (which is very good btw), the way the Sonoma Indians dealt with all those extra children was...

    child sacrifice! (gulp, yup)

    and ready for this next part? ...

    They then ate the children they sacrificed.

    Maybe conversion to Catholicism in this case was the lesser evil?

    I would think that the reason there maybe were few societies that practised such open sexual customs (even though, naively, there is a certain appeal) was due to the large number of children born... What to do with all those extra kids?


  6. The usual rationale for ensuring a large number of children was to take care of the tribe in later years; a form of social security. Men and women with no children faced very hard times as they grew too old to take care of their own survival.